of course, i would be lying if i were to say it is easy for me... well, i always said he changed but the fact is he never... and he himself knows why...
so i did a lil changes in our blog and i don't think you can really find it with the same link, okay, well, it was use to be our blog... but... i've never permanently deleted it because its hard, like really hard...
i don't know what to feel, cheated? angry? sad?
i don't even wanna bring up the promises he made because since the first day i knew nothing lasts forever...
so, as usual, it was because i called up another guy when he broke up with me and he got so angry... but he never really cared because he was the person i trust most and when the person you trust most leaves you... it is like a mental shut down... you don't know what to do...
newest update -----------------------------------------
got back together, well, not really... i called and cried.. i don't know.. i just couldn't let go... eventhough he still thinks that i am at fault but i guess this is what you call love and seriously it is killing me by pieces because the whole day, i've just been crying...
funny how he feels disgusted that i call up another guy just to talk, sighh... i feel so stupid now, i feel like a useless person, like a parasite actually... he blamed me on the same thing the last time...
i am with someone just because i am so deeply in love and its crazy...
i never liked it when he swear how much i meant to him because i was so scared karma will hit him if he lied... so to keep things safe, i've always prevented him from swearing... but we made a deal... well, he wanted me to make a deal more specifically that i will not contact any guys after this and i gave in... but i also made him swear, that if he hurts me again, he will live with regret... i don't know, but i really hope it works...
i lost my appetite, ate nothing but a few biscuits the whole day...
god, give me the strength to make the right decision, give me the power to stand up...
0 comments:
Post a Comment